June 2012
Am I yelling funny comments at the TV waiting for...
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Rock bottom.
Love doesnt exist. Get over it already.
May 2012
Lord help my poor soul.
Lately I’ve been so lonely. Don’t...
Metal band name #145
MACHETE ASS-FUCK
Anonymous asked: You deserve to fucking die you worthless piece of shit.
Metal band name #143
KNIFE RAPE
YOLO is an excuse. Carpe Diem is a motivator.
Shwarma burps smell like abortion farts.
I am stoned out of my head and horny out of my...
Who's Stanley and why do I care about his cup?
What the fuck is "hockey" and why the fuck are so...
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A LOSER. YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE...
and that’s okay
It can't be healthy to feel such clarity.
Renewals don't come without expirations.
2am calls.
Her: Hey, you called?
Me: Yeah a half hour ago.
Her: Well, why did you call?
Me: Doesn't matter now.
Her: Why?
Me: Because it's too late for you to be relevant.
*Hangup.
Some people have axes to grind. I have bullets to...
Maturity means wrecking less while being reckless.
I'm sorry for every time I made you smile.
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You better believe I'm wearing my dodgers hat all...
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DONT CURE AIDS
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Drink coffee then poop. Never poop then drink...
I got a backpack full of condoms and fireworks.
And I don’t even use condoms.
Heading to the bay tonight. Berkeley, San Fran and...
I'm just a simple man cursed with an honest heart.
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I'm just a warm, tender and meaty inside...
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I bet Native Americans never spit out their...